Penn's assistant slipped and fell in the fuckin shower. She hurt her elbow, but here are some pictures of Penn leading the bitch into the hospital and then waiting outside and acting like the assistant was shot in the face and probably wasn't ganna make it.
So Contagion is out. Awesome movie, makes you wanna wash the shit out of your hands every second you get. But for me two times a day is good. But this billboard is a bit much. Making dudes work with fungus and what, this is the type of shit that's ganna really start some contagion.
WET DREAM ON ELM STREET? Pleasure Comas? Dildo's for fingers? Not ganna lie, I'm ganna see the shit out of this thing somehow. And by somehow I'm ganna download it on the internet but just to watch it not for anything else.
Expendables 1 was exactly what I expected. A bad ass movie with a ton of guys passed their prime but could slightly bring it one last time. BUTTT Expendables 2 is shaping up to be even better. Looks like were getting Bruce Willis and AHNOLD for two huge roles, plus the original cast, and JCVD, Norris, and the guy from Looks Who's Talking are all in the running to be in the movie. If Rocky can pull this off, better believe I'm using my O'neil Cinema loyalty points to see the shit out of this.
So Wakefield got his 200th win...nice. Can we now get this corpse off the field. No doubt about it 200 wins is a great feat and I use to love Wake but now I can't stand the guy. He's been the 26th man on the roster for about 3-4 years now. Plus he's become a quiet bitcher, bro you shouldn't be in the starting rotation and you aren't helping anyone from the bullpen. Now we have to wait for him to get win 192 in a Sox uniform to tie the record. This is ganna be brutal. Just give him the record and get him out of here.
TV nowadays kind of sucks. There are like 3 or 4 shows I generally look forward everyweek, Curb'd, which is over now, Breaking Bad, and Always Sunny. That's it, I'll throw in my Hell's Kitchen every now and then because Chef Ramsay is a magician with a knife but other than that I could not watch. I mean I will but I could not. But to prove the point about how much TV sucks here comes some shitty french film studio called Gaumont and they are ganna make some shitty show about a young Hannibal Lector in like a year...
"All the press release offers as far as details is that the show will “center on Lecter’s early days, namely his time going head-to-head with FBI agent Will Graham.” So this is a drawn out cat and mouse procedural? Sounds like that’s the case, with the show taking place between the events of Hannibal Rising and Manhunter. Combining a universally-known character with the perennially popular crime procedural seems like such an obvious move I’m surprised it taken this long to occur."
Outside of the guy who read that press release, no one else is shocked. They made that shitty movie like 3 years ago. Wanna know why no one wants this because no one gives a shit about a young Hannibal Lector. The man is fucked up now, focus on that. I don't wanna know Nazi's killed and cooked his sister and made him eat some. Shit sucks. This write up sucks, this whole idea sucks. Needs to be a rule if I don't like it, shit shouldn't be put on the air.
All season long I have been preaching "stay calm". They lost? Not that big a deal, they're still going to the playoffs. Lost 2 of 3 to the Yanks, lost the lead in the division? Doesn't matter, they still have the wild card, just get into the playoffs.
Well the Sox have finally done it, I AM FREAKING OUT HERE MAN!! Just got swept by the Rays, have a four game series against them this week with a 3 and half game lead. And the way Boston is playing that lead most likely will be much smaller by pitch 1 of that series. I am starting to get a real 2005 feeling about this year. Even if they get to the playoffs, they probably have to play Texas in the first round and I got a feel los Rangers would steamroll the shit out of us. But alas no worries, our pitching has been dominant as of late and once you turn it over to Bard the game is over. So we're good.
- I'm at threat level yellow right now, right on the brink of orange. If they lose 3 out of 4 this weekend this guy is getting in line on the fuckin bridge.
UPDATE - I guess there are only 1500 pairs of these things and they cost $3500 each, fuck that.
Honestly, who the fuck would buy these? Shit is ganna cost like $200 bucks, you gotta fuckin charge em and they are ugly as hell. But I know they are ganna fly off the racks cuz people are thinkin they are "fly" as hell or MCFLY.ZING. Can't wait till that LED light starts leakin all over someones leg. Just get some $50 dollar fila shoes, they don't light up but hey LA Gears was like some fourth grade shit so you don't need em too.
On a less related note, Michael J. Fox needs to calm down in that interview. Just jumping all over the place, relax bro act like you've been there before. What? Oh, I didn't know he had that...
I like Chris Tucker. Guy has made a ton doing little to nothing outside of Rush 1,2, and 3 and knows he doesn't have to do shit anymore. That is everyones dream work a little and then do absolutely nothing. Guy just drives around going to Laker games, driving like 140 mph in 35 mph school zones, probably bangs the Laker girls,gains like 70 pounds like Mac from Always Sunny, he'll say it's mass, I'll say he just got a little fat. But now it looks like big Chris wants to make a little bit of a comeback. It's not ganna be in Friday 4 which is sad but it could be in a mediocre comedy with Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, and Jonah Hill about a neighborhood watch group that uncovers a plot to destroy the world. Or in some movie called The Silver Linings Playbook with Bradley Cooper about two guys in a mental institution, Cooper goes back home and occasionally Tucker breaks out to go hang with him. I assume it's an invisible friend kind of thing. Jackie Chan better be in both but either I'm probably ganna see em both.
That is Nyjer Morgan on the Pirates, Brewers and Nationals, all of whom he has played for in a four year stretch. He probably think's team's take him because he's good but in reality he's just an asshole. Teams can take an asshole if he's good. This is Nyjer Morgan going after Albert Pujols after the machine came to defend his teammate Chris Carpenter because Morgan thinks he's tough and a good player...
@theRealTPlush -- Morgan had this to say: "Alberta couldn't see Plush if she had her gloves on!!! Wat was she thinking running afta Plush!!! She never been n tha ring!!!"
I told you if let this guy run around acting like an asshole even though he has accomplished absolutely nothing at the Major League level shit is ganna happen. Now this guy thinks he has a right to talk like that to a future hall of famer? Hey Nyjer you suck bro and you are most likely ganna do something to fuck up the Brewers chances at winning anything because you think you're funny. Shut the fuck up and sit down.
Honestly thought this was ganna be another one of those shitty Wes Anderson type movies (outside of the Royal Tenenbaums) but it turns out it looks...awesome. I actually like Jack Black and it's not because I have been told I look like the funny fat man once or twice. Steve Martin could be in for a nice little comeback and Owen Wilson still sucks because he's just not that funny. Fix that shit on your face bro.
The NBA claims an end is in sight to the CBA negotiations, there isn't. No way these players give up their right to fuck up the league they play in. They need 140 million dollars, they have families to feed, just ask Latrell Sprewell. But since nothing else they say matters, the owners have proposed adding a third round to the NBA draft. It sounds absolutely fool proof... "Under one proposal," writes Sheridan, the 15 teams with the worst records would continue to pick 1st through 15th, but then would also have the 16th through 30th picks. The teams with the top 15 records would have the first 15 picks of the second round, then would have the 44th through 60th picks."
"Under another proposal, the teams with the eight worst records would get an additional first round pick, beginning with selection No. 22, and the teams with the eight best records would have no first-round picks but would select at the top of the second round (picks 31 through 38), then also would get the final eight picks of the second round."
- So basically if you are a 5-8 seed in any conference, the league has now taken away any chance of you improving in anyway through the draft. BUT on the other hand you will get to pick in a third round, and given the fact that second rounders now do almost nothing in the league, that should be awesome.
The Jags just released David Garrard, goin with Luke McCown (solid move). Colts don't have Peyton. Titans just suck and have Hasselback and Ponder. The Texans could be without Arian Foster for a while. AFC South just got a whole lot worse.
If Houston doesn't win it this year then they aren't ever going to become an elite team. Also if I'm Seattle I'm all over Garrard, unless having Tavaris Jackson under center sounds good. Up to you bra.
Remember how awesome Beetlejuice was 20 years? Well since Hollywood can't think of anything else it's looking like Beetlejuice 2 is a real possibility...
"the intention is not to remake Beetlejuice, but to reboot it by advancing the storyline of the original. If this seems like a travesty, or at least a puzzling idea, blame Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows, for which Grahame-Smith did script work. Warners liked what he turned out for Dark Shadows, which led to this first-look deal. Deadline says Grahame-Smith will write two scripts for WB, with Beetlejuice 2 being a likely option"
So basically it's ganna be the same movie but Hollywood is ganna keep telling us they are changing or "advancing" a few things. Where else can you fucking take this thing? It's about two dead people who work with a ghoul in their attic. Can't wait for those CGI sandworms and instead of "DAY-O" we're ganna get Flo-rida's low. Shit is ganna be so advanced,it's ganna be sick when Russell Brand takes this shit over. Pissin all over Michael Keaton's good name, just bring back the cartoon and call it a day
These Paranormal Activity movies are getting a bit played out. The first was boring aS shit, the second was pretty fucking ridiculous, but I guess this one is about Bloody Mary? I mean they are all suppose to follow the same family and this one is a prequel about the fat chick from the first one and her sister but wheres that goat demon or whatever? Shit is all fucked up. Still ganna see it though.
This is Imogen Thomas. I guess she had an affair with some soccer player and confessed the whole thing to the guys wife. Not sure they're still together. She's got a shitty name but whatever she's pretty good lookin eh? Yeah she's pretty good looking. Gotta love sluts
If you saw Human Centipede you know that that shit was no where near as awful as this fucking hack Tom Six said it was going to be. In fact it was pretty fucking tame, everyone has bandages everywhere. Basically it was three people crawling around. Well now here's the trailer for the sequel and this shit sounds way worse. In this one we got a guy who falls in love with a fucking copy of the first movie, re-read that, and wants to do the experiment himself but with 12 people. Either way trailer is fake with shitty actors to make it look sick. Not going to be and its going to suck real bad. Still ganna see it though
Everyone calls New York the Mecca of basketball even though outside of pick up basketball they haven't been relevant or won anything since the 80's. Everyone else has picked up on this and now there is going to be some shitty men's pick up league where only NBA players will be allowed to particpate ...
"Starting Monday, dozens of pro players are expected to compete in an NBA-only league in Las Vegas, according to longtime trainer Joe Abunassar, a driving force behind the league. Among the 40 or so players currently committed to playing are Knicks guard Chauncey Billups, Knicks forward Shawnie Williams and New York rookie guard Iman Shumpert. Others include Wizards guard John Wall, Memphis forward Zach Randolph, Bucks guard Stephen jackson and Nuggets forward Al Harrington."
I mean they could be doing this in an actual league where they get paid and people actually wanna show up. But whatever I guess this is better. Euro League basketball is ganna be so sick this year.
The immortal Tiki Barber, who totally does not hold a high opinion of himself and definitely doesn't love him some him, is shocked, SHOCKED that not one team has bothered to acquire his services after he unretired this past off-season. This guy may be one of the greatest douchebags of all time. Mind you, this man retired FIVE years ago, walking away from the game when it was clear he could still play, albeit in a reduced role for the G-Men as Brandon Jacobs was clearly the new starter. Mind you, he did so only after acquiring a job from NBC which he believed would propel him to stardom as he sought to branch out from football and pontificate on any subject of the day because he truly believed that anyone outside of the tri-state area or not named Ronde actually gave a fuck what he had to say. Mind you, he also made a point in his new position to rip the Giants coaching staff, who had arguably saved his career by eliminating his issues with fumbling the ball, and QB Eli Manning who he insinuated would never be able to lead his team to the promise land, you know one season before that QB (sadly for we here in New England) went and did just that against what would have been arguably the greatest team of all time. Barber then thought he was so awesome, even after being removed from the NBC broadcast for general douchebaggery along with Keith Olbermann, that he dumped his pregnant wife for a 19 year old co-ed who he reportedly had been spending nights in a dormromm with. The fact that no one even showed the slightest interest in this piece of shit is proof to me that there is God. Fail Tiki Fail and I can't wait till that dickhead LaDainian suffers a similar fate.
"We are flabbergasted that Tiki has not had an opportunity with any team, especially when rosters were at 90 players this year," agent Mark Lepselter told SI.com. "I certainly thought some team would be intrigued to see what he had left in the tank.''
Yo Tiki's agent, wanna know why nobody pick this bum up yet. It probably has something to do with the fact that he's 36 and hasn't played in five years. Why the fuck would anybody pick this guy up? Plus he's a giant asshole who will throw his teammates under the bus to get into US weekly or whatever. So fuck this guy, fuck him in his stupid ass. Hope that 19 year old intern is ganna be making some dough in a little bit cuz you sir are shit out of luck.
Brett Ratner sucks at directing movies but he's got a new job producing the Oscars this year. He may also be on the verge of making one of the all time greatest decision in Hollywood history...big man is looking at EDDIE MURPHY to host.
I need a party all the time musical number, need some scenes from Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, and Shrek played out on stage. And if he doesn't host this shit in a fat suit I'm ganna be so pissed. Play on playa.
Looks like we got a second Frank Abaganle Jr. on our hands. Matthew Scheidt, a 17 year old from Florida, duped the shit out of a hospital with fake creds and a hell of an acting job by becoming a physicians assistant without any actual training.
"A Florida teenager faces felony charges for allegedly masquerading as a physician assistant at a local hospital. Police say Matthew Scheidt, 17, duped officials at the Osceola Regional Medical Center, where he performed CPR on a cardiac patient, removed an IV, accessed private charts and examined disrobed male patients, and according to ABC News. The alleged impersonator raised flags when he began seeking more access at the hospital."
This whole thing goes to show you what a fucking scam college is. The kid was kickin ass and takin names as a PA and he didn't even have to shell out a dime for "classes" or "knowledge". Kid just gets it Good Will Hunting style, being thrown into the fire is the best way to go. No doubt the head surgeon was getting jealous of all the attention he was getting from the slutty nurses and had to take him down. Also this kid pretended to be a deputy for a while. He keeps this up he's got upper management written all over him.
Stephania Bell. MMMMM. Positives - She's a physical therapist, works for ESPN and talks out of the side of her mouth like a sexy stroke victim. Plus she already has had an a affair, so she would do bad things. Negative - it was with Erik Kusileas, guy just sucks. But I Would still totally do her.
America isn't filled with the smartest people around, I assume that would be China or any other Asian country. But for some reason every time we get one of these Paranormal Activity knockoff's we have to explain to some people that is isn't real. And today NASA has issued a press release letting everyone know, hey fella's APOLLO 18 isn't an actual documentary,"Apollo 18 is not a documentary. The film is a work of fiction, and we always knew that. We were minimally involved with this picture. We never even saw a rough cut. The idea of portraying the Apollo 18 mission as authentic is simply a marketing ploy. Perhaps a bit of a ‘Blair Witch Project’ strategy to generate hype.".
I assume this was pointed directly towards southerner's because they're a special type of dumb. But then again this could be another way for them to throw us off their scent like they did with the moon landing hoax. Oh yeah, we didn't land on the moon, also 9/11 was an inside job. NASA had nothing to do with 9/11 you say? That's what they want you to think. They are sketchy as shit.
Sabermetrics are here to stay in baseball and with the release of the certain to be shitty movie Moneyball, the topic is going to brought up a lot. For the most part they are a huge help, for example WARP or Fielding independent Pitching. This stuff is the tits, really gets to the bottom of who is tops in the bigs. But NESN, can we please stop with the fucking Bill James Temperature Gauge. Some of these friggen Saber stats are some of the most useless things I have ever seen. Isolated power? Don’t need it, got slugging percentage, OPS, and we can check a guy’s homers and doubles. And the fuckin gauge? No one needs to know that Andrew Jones is at 82 degrees because he got two doubles in his six at bats all season and we can just check the box score to see if he went 0-3 with 2 K’s or 1-3 with a homer. This shit’s worthless Bill, you’re getting old. Plus the thing looks fuckin ridiculous on my television screen. Enough already, we get it you’re smarter than us.
- Couldn't find a picture of it, darsh. So instead here's Heidi in a bikini. But if you've been watching the Sox V. Yanks this week you know what I'm talking about.
Beruit is a tremendous game. Oh by the way it’s Beruit not Beer Pong, no one calls it that. But anyway the game is fun as fuck. You put out a table, throw on some cups, and grab some balls, and I’m down whenever, wherever. But last night I was sitting on my ass watching the 2008 World Series of Beruit documentary, “The Last Cup” on Spike TV and I have to say these guys really make me wish the game was never invented. Look, you can be cocky as shit during that nights festivities because you ran the table and got awesome. But if you walk around thinking you’re the man or thinking everyone else thinks you’re the man because you wanna be known as the beer pong guy in your everyday life then you can’t be anything else but the absolute worst person around. Like a legendary douchebag, especially if you think you’re a professional athlete. Indeed some of these cocks put themselves on that level. Others don’t even try to get jobs, just go tourney to tourney winning like $500 bucks. I mean not a bad living if you don’t mind making like $9,000 a year and completely ruining your life by the time you’re 27. Naturally the biggest pricks are from Jersey because it’s a Jersey thing. One of these fuckin guys works out for pong, even though…it actually does nothing for you. Shit is like bowling. He went 13-0 in 2007 and when the crowd turned on him, he lost two in a row and was eliminated. Then big man promptly challenged everyone in the room $1000 bucks each that he would beat them one on one. Sadly no one took him up on this challenge. According to Tone, that’s his name, it was his greatest failure to date. Tri-state area showing they aren’t head strong once again.
Also while watching these guys I have come to the conclusion that everyone else in America cheats. Motherfuckers are leaning like assholes every time they shoot, elbows basically half way across the table. That’s not skill, that’s just bein a cunt. Nobody calls it either; I don’t want to live in a world where leaning is allowed. Bottom line, if you bounce, lean, or distract and you’re a dude, you suck. This is supposed to be a gentlemen’s game after all. Sluts can distract all they want, it doesn’t do anything but it’s just an awesome way to see their titties and stuff.
This blog doesn’t even do these bro’s justice. I’m pretty disappointed about that but there is no real way to describe just how much these people suck. But I was impressed by the guy who used beruit sabermetrics to kick ass. Also I guess the grand prize is $50,000 now. For that type of money I'm bouncing, leaning,diving, whatever I gotta to do to get inside my opponents head.
It's a shock they were able to ring in such mega stars as Chris Kline, the guy from rookie of the year, tara reid, probably the shermanator, and the guy who plays Jim (honestly can't remember his name right now, not ganna look it up). Look, the first American Pie was awesome, a classic if you will, makes me miss high school when I watch it. The second and third ones were complete dog shit but somehow there are people out there who liked them better. And because of them we got such classics as American Pie: Band Camp, American Pie: The Naked Run, American Pie: Eugene Levy. The last one was made up but honestly we don't need anymore. The only person who has gone on to do anything is Sean William Scott because Stifler is awesome and he is actually funny. Jim sucked (It's Jason Biggs, that's his name), Oz was lame as fuck waiting for his stuck up bitch girlfriend to come back from abroad and give him a handy when he could have been going nuts on the shore, and finch is the kid who you stop hanging out with after high school because you finally realized he's weird as shit. I pray this is the last one but it's not ganna be. It's probably ganna start a whole new trilogy or start a new string of direct to DVD movies.
- I honestly think Eugene Levy is ganna knock this out of the park though.
I would 1000% kill to do sex to Amy Childs. Just saw her over on Barstool and like a week ago I said Elaine Arden was the hottest chick on the planet. DEAD WRONG. Amy Childs gets that crown. She would be a smoker even if she was blonde,brunette,or black but good looking red heads are like mystical creatures. Can't find em. But red heads that look like Amy Childs would make bros go on murder sprees to get in the sheets. Judge for yourself. Also if you don't think shes good looking you're gay, no way around it.
Can't wait to hear the out cry from this shit. Titans running back Chris Johnson is in the middle of a holdout and today he took to twitter to let the fans know he appreciates their support.. "I don't have a regular job so don't compare me to you and I can care less if uthink I'm greedy." Around the horn and PTI are ganna have a field day with this but CJ is right. He doesn't have a real job and I hope this shows all the fuckin ridiculous fans out there that these guys actually don't give a shit about you. Non of them have, non of them ever will. Just watch the fuckin game and shut your fuckin mouth. I got no problem with an athlete saying some truth. Get yours Chris Johnson.
- Now that's the face of someone who cares. Doubt he ends up having a real life " Big Fan" situation.
Romancing the stone was an okay, if unforgettable movie but now since Hollywood has no new ideas they have chosen to remake the movie. But instead of remaking it into maybe something enjoyable, they are ganna turn the remake into a shitty TV show that is surely to be canceled after one season or less. Most likely less. Deadline reports "this version will follow a successful but unfulfilled woman who teams with a risk-taking adventurer to take on weekly missions while on a larger quest to find her missing brother. There’s no casting at this point, and this could die off just as easily as it could take off. But still, for some reason I expect this one to go farther than the film remake. Both are equally silly, but I can see NBC thinking it might be a good idea to milk a couple seasons out of this idea"
Now idea number 2 is long as fuck. It's George Lucas showing off what a dumbass he is. Earlier this week he caused a massive controversy but changing up one of the more historic scenes in his shitty Star Wars films. Yeah, I said it, Stars Wars fuckin sucked but still his change also fuckin sucked. But here is him ranting about how people who alter "art" aka shitty movies should be assumed. Remember it's long as fuck and not interesting...
"My name is George Lucas. I am a writer, director, and producer of motion pictures and Chairman of the Board of Lucasfilm Ltd., a multi-faceted entertainment corporation.
I am not here today as a writer-director, or as a producer, or as the chairman of a corporation. I’ve come as a citizen of what I believe to be a great society that is in need of a moral anchor to help define and protect its intellectual and cultural heritage. It is not being protected.
The destruction of our film heritage, which is the focus of concern today, is only the tip of the iceberg. American law does not protect our painters, sculptors, recording artists, authors, or filmmakers from having their lifework distorted, and their reputation ruined. If something is not done now to clearly state the moral rights of artists, current and future technologies will alter, mutilate, and destroy for future generations the subtle human truths and highest human feeling that talented individuals within our society have created.
A copyright is held in trust by its owner until it ultimately reverts to public domain. American works of art belong to the American public; they are part of our cultural history.
People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians, and if the laws of the United States continue to condone this behavior, history will surely classify us as a barbaric society. The preservation of our cultural heritage may not seem to be as politically sensitive an issue as “when life begins” or “when it should be appropriately terminated,” but it is important because it goes to the heart of what sets mankind apart. Creative expression is at the core of our humanness. Art is a distinctly human endeavor. We must have respect for it if we are to have any respect for the human race.
These current defacements are just the beginning. Today, engineers with their computers can add color to black-and-white movies, change the soundtrack, speed up the pace, and add or subtract material to the philosophical tastes of the copyright holder. Tomorrow, more advanced technology will be able to replace actors with “fresher faces,” or alter dialogue and change the movement of the actor’s lips to match. It will soon be possible to create a new “original” negative with whatever changes or alterations the copyright holder of the moment desires. The copyright holders, so far, have not been completely diligent in preserving the original negatives of films they control. In order to reconstruct old negatives, many archivists have had to go to Eastern bloc countries where American films have been better preserved.
In the future it will become even easier for old negatives to become lost and be “replaced” by new altered negatives. This would be a great loss to our society. Our cultural history must not be allowed to be rewritten.
There is nothing to stop American films, records, books, and paintings from being sold to a foreign entity or egotistical gangsters and having them change our cultural heritage to suit their personal taste.
I accuse the companies and groups, who say that American law is sufficient, of misleading the Congress and the People for their own economic self-interest.
I accuse the corporations, who oppose the moral rights of the artist, of being dishonest and insensitive to American cultural heritage and of being interested only in their quarterly bottom line, and not in the long-term interest of the Nation.
The public’s interest is ultimately dominant over all other interests. And the proof of that is that even a copyright law only permits the creators and their estate a limited amount of time to enjoy the economic fruits of that work.
There are those who say American law is sufficient. That’s an outrage! It’s not sufficient! If it were sufficient, why would I be here? Why would John Houston have been so studiously ignored when he protested the colorization of “The Maltese Falcon?” Why are films cut up and butchered?
Attention should be paid to this question of our soul, and not simply to accounting procedures. Attention should be paid to the interest of those who are yet unborn, who should be able to see this generation as it saw itself, and the past generation as it saw itself.
I hope you have the courage to lead America in acknowledging the importance of American art to the human race, and accord the proper protection for the creators of that art–as it is accorded them in much of the rest of the world communities."
