Hey NESN, the Baby Fucking Sucks

It's been bad enough watching the Sox waddle through what can only be termed a middling August as they've been hit with injuries to big guns like Jacoby Ellsbury, Kevin Youkilis and David Ortiz but NESN feels the need to compund everyone's misery with these awful rip-offs of the already infuriating e-trade baby. I understand NESN has the production budget of a Saturday afternoon SyFy movie and thus we have been subjected to such gems as Sox Appeal, NESN Sports Daily, DirtyWater "News", Charlie Moore and staring at Dennis & Callahan in the morning but this is too far. Cut the shit, and pull this crap before you drive millions of people throughout New England insane.

SIGN HIM

As Jonathon Papelbon nears free agency the multitudes of miserable human beings who call into sports radio across New England have been all to eager to show the outspoken and dimwitted closer the door. Good riddance they have said collectively and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. The vitriol expressed by these embittered remnants of the "fellowship of the miserable" is confusing because first Papelbon, aside from a few comments here and there, hasn't really done anything egregiously wrong and second, he's pretty damn good. Most of those seeking Papelbon's departure cite the fact that Daniel Bard resides in the bullpen and they believe he can easily step in and fill Papelbon's 9th inning time slot. The reality however is, while Bard has has put together two nice little seasons, he's also thrown up a multitude of red flags that he's just not ready for the job and possibly may never be. A little aside when perusing Bard's statistics reveals that he has allowed leadoff hitters to hit .300 against him this year, though admittedly he has held the following batters to a .133 average against. Even worse, Bard's ERA is nearly three runs higher in games not played in the friendly confines of Fenway. Papelbon meanwhile, after what can only be described as a down year, has rebounded nicely and has put together another sterling campaign, compiling 20 saves by the all star break. Papelbon is on an historic pace career wise and while he'll easily demand a multi-year contract that will command somewhere north of $12 million a year he's more than worth it as he's a sure thing entering his prime. The man's been a solid, well above average closer for over six seasons winning one world series and, aside from a shoulder injury at the end of the '06 season, has proven to be extremely durable and reliable. The man may not be a mensa candidate and may be guilty of putting his foot in his mouth but he's proven he can get the job done whereas Bard will be nothing but a question mark entering the 2012 season. This is Brady versus Cassel redux, stick with the one you know.

GO GET EM BIG GUY

NESN.COM -"I don't see a ton of pitching help out there unless it's the few guys who can really make an impact, who will take your farm system to get," Epstein said. "I think we could benefit from a complementary position player in the right spot."


I am with you all the way Theo. You are pretty much dog shit when it comes to signing free agents. I am mean you brought in Julio Lugo, JD Drew, and Mike Cameron to name a few. You also gave a ridiculous $142 million dollar contract to Carl Crawford. However, I like Crawford and don't think he will play as bad as he has for the remainder of the deal. OHHHHHHH yeah, and I think you brought in an overrated shrek clone in John Lackey, but we only have him for three and half more years so no worries there. Christ you are just really a pile of shit when it comes to the free agent market. But what you can do is make trades, you're not killer at it but you can bring solid pieces from time to time, for instance a certain MVP candidate named Adrian Gonzalez. And I completely agree, Sox could use some positional help AND keeping the farm system intact is a must. Another outfielder because Darnell McDonald has to go and Drew is useless at this point. Another catcher for the stretch run would be great because although Salty as turned it on some, I still don't trust him and Varitek is 90 years old. Perhaps another up the middle player like Omare Infante from Florida would help. He's playing like ass this year but he can play three positions in the infield. But hey, as long as it isn't the offseason I trust your instincts.

Is it Time to Throw Lackey Overboard?

In 2006 the Red Sox got an awful season from a stuuborn, unrepentant Josh Beckett. In response, the Texas Hurler rededicated himself and had a beyond spectacular 2007 season, coming close to the Cy Young Award and delivering the Sox to their second World Series title of the decade. In 2010 the Sox got an awful season from a stubborn, unrepentant John Lackey, In response, the hurler supposedly rededicated himself, losing a few unwanted LBs and the results, thus far, have been far worse. Lackey entered today's game with a 6.81 ERA, worst in the entire league amongst frontline starters and so far he's already given up 3 runs to the BlueJays and we're only in the 2nd inning. Lackey has shown himself to be unable to cure what ails him, even after two trips to the disabled list, and his demonstrative antics have shown up his teamates while he's on the field and his postgame press conferences have become tense, terse, brief chats with the seething pitcher. There's no chance the Sox could cut ties with Lackey considering he's owed $16.5 million per year over the next three seasons, but perhaps when Clay Bucholz returns it's time for Francona to turn Lackey into the world's most expensive longman by throwing him in the bullpen. Andrew Miller deserves a chance to pitch himself out of the rotation, even if his strong starts have come against some of the worst offenses in the league and aging knuckleballer Tim Wakefield has demonstrated that he's a more reliable option than Lackey. It probably won't happen as Francona would mentally lose Lackey permanently, but something must be done, this guy's sucking it up something fierce.

Can We Just Cut The Shit Already?

Interleague is over, thank christ. The Sox just defeated the Houston Astros 2-1 on the back of a dominate start from Josh Beckett, sweeping the series and winning four in a row to end the nine day road trip. As a whole they finished Interleague play 10-8. How? I have no fucking idea. They played like shit, threw out abysmal lineups, didn't hit with runners in scoring position, and for the most part they pitched pretty mediocre. But I think this just goes to show how shitty the National league is, the sox for the most part played poorly and still came out on top. The Phillies are a great team and will probably be there at the end in October but San Diego and Houston belong in triple A. Pittsburgh is solid but no way they should have taken two of three from the sox. Shit, I guess that says more about the Sox than anything. I know nothing anymore, up is down, down is up. How the fuck do you lose two of three to both San Diego and Pittsburgh. Interleague sucks so bad.

What doth Wrong with the BoSox?

Suddenly a team which was running up the score at a record rate and tearing through the American League like a finger through wet toilet paper can't score against some of the most anemic offenses and defenses in the incredibly weak National League. Thus far this season, the Red Sox are an unimpressive 5-5 in interleague play. This team should be obliterating the weaker teams fielded by their older counterparts, yet just when it seems they should be running away with the division they've allowed the New York Yankees to creep within a 1/2 game of their position and have only posted a .500 record in their last ten games. While there's clearly no reason to sound the alarm on this team just yet it is worth noting that the Red Sox appear to be losing steam as injuries take their toll on the starting rotation and the outfield and their inability to capitalize on scoring oppurtunities isn't a good sign.

Beckett pushed back to Tuesday

Sox skipper Terry Francona announced today that Sox ace Josh Beckett, said to be suffering from intestinal problems, has had his start pushed back to Tuesday in Philadelphia. While the fact that Beckett can't shake this problem is worrisome it will be cool to see Beckett, who's hot as ever, start in Philly in what could be a World Series preview.

Lack-Diesel Takes Mound, Sucks

As God pissed on the Fenway Faithful, Sox pitcher John Lackey took the mound raring to go and promptly served up a long ball to give the Padres an early 1-0 lead. A few rain delays later and Lackey would hand the Padres four more runs and the win. As usual Lackey was quick to take responsibility, oh wait no he didn't. In what has become a constant refrain Lackey took none of the blame, explaining in a postgame presser that he thought he pitched well, just a couple of lucky hits that dropped. Lackey has become the new Dice-K, sparkling in one outing and terrible in another. Also like Dice-K he is stubborn and refuses to acknowledge when he's awful, the closest Lackey has come was in an unusual outburst in the Sox lockerroom where the hurler whined "Everything in my life sucks right now" and promptly stormed off. Yeah, Lackey's not great, but it's not his fault some dick saw this turd and offered it $82.5 million guaranteed.

Wily Mo Goes Deep for the first time in over a 1,000 days

Wily Mo Pena, one of Sox Gm theo Epstein's biggest whiffs, went deep for the first time in over three years today. It's worth noting that when Epstein traded away Bronson Arroyo to acquire Pena in '06 he envisioned the man dropping bombs all over the major leagues.

Aceves Shows Why He Belongs in the Bullpen

Spot starter Alfredo Aceves was a key factor in the Sox loss tonight as he walked 5 consecutive Padres with two outs in the 2nd inning, the Sox ended up losing 5-4. It's worth noting though that it's only the Sox' 4th loss in the month of June.

Sox Dismantle Padres

The Sox exploded in the seventh inning coasting to an easy 14-5 win when it looked like it'd be a tight one.It's their sixth game of scoring 10+ runs in June. Not too bad.

Papi Has 7 Minute At Bat

David Ortiz just had a seven minute battle with Padres pitcher Wade LeBlanc before finally depositing the ball in short left and plating Dustin Pedroia. Sox lead 1-0 in the bottom of the first.

Andrew Miller Takes Hill Tonight

Former phenom Andrew Miller gets the start for the Sox tonight after going 3-3 with a 2.47 ERA and 61 strikeouts in 13 games with the PawSox down in Rhode Island. Miller's slated to fill in for Clay Bucholz while the latter is on the 15 day disabled list for a stiff back.

Red Sox Dominate Brewers, Take Fifth Straight Series

The local nine raped the Brew Crew today at Fenway Park 12-3, winning their fifth straight series after being swept at home by the Chicago White Sox. Tim Wakefield got the win as Kevin Youkilis, Dustin Pedroia and even friggin' Marco Scutaro homered, with A-Gon adding in his third triple of the year. This team's lookin' pretty, pretty good right now.

Seriously, This is a Real Product

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